Up, Up and Danae! Trip Over Author Talk Reflection - 11am, Saturday, 22 September 2018
Welcome aboard Danae Airlines.
Pictured above is your captain Danae Andrea Harwood and her flight attendant; Shaken-and-soon-to-be-stirred-Tony.
Danae will now communicate through her intercom to inform you of some of the safety procedures.
"This is your captain speaking. My mother will now demonstrate what to do in the event of an emergency..."
"Thanks, mum. Passengers, I do need to update you on some recent changes to our airline. Due to recent budget cuts, the aeroplanes of Danae Airlines are no longer fitted with parachutes..."
At this point, an episode of turbulence throws our captain's communication device through a window and we spiral downward crash-landing in territory known only as
"What the?!"
After we have regained consciousness, our trusty captain orientates us and offers to revitalise our complexion with a Magical Placenta moisturiser...
Huh?
You heard right, readers. To break the fourth wall momentarily, this was a very real product one of Danae's sons brought back from a trip to The Philippines earlier in the year.
Applying the product allegedly lightens dark skin...handy for those seeking a reverse-tan, no doubt.
It was wacky discoveries like these along with several unconventional travel encounters of the weird kind that sparked Danae to create her very own travel blog.
Not only to bottle and share these unusual tales, but to inspire the the traveller within seeking a road (and facial treatment) less trialed.
Each of us were handed a boarding pass and incoming passenger card which served as sign-posts for a twelve-chapter odyssey that took us beyond magical placenta, to Danae's husband opening what he was certain was his hotel room door at the MACq01 Hotel in Hobart, only to discover he had entered another guest's hotel room clad only in his underpants.
We were also taken on board the Mona Roma Ferry where we were introduced to an odd spectacle of a woman progressively de-layering herself and making her presence more and more revealing. So much so, Danae's husband christened her Boobarella.
We watched with disbelief as the spirit of a Port Arthur convict shifted Danae's glass of bubbly on board the ferry from one end of the table to another.
How do we know it was a Port Arthur convict who had left this earth long ago?
Well, there was the security camera that captured the moment, punctuated by a pyschic medium who revealed the identity of the uninvited guest to Danae during a psychic reading later on in the piece.
We experienced "Hands-Off" Healing that cured Danae's husband's back pain without even a single muscle being manipulated.
We were entranced by our captain's aura as her travel tales continued entwining us.
We plodded along with Danae in Darwin's driverless bus and partied the night away with Danae and her husband in a gay Darwin nightclub recommended to her by her dapper chauffeur.
We encountered a Golden Orb spider the size of a hand-span being employed as a fishing net tool by the locals at Vanuatu's Ekasup Village.
We observed faces of horror of the Vanuatu locals when unbeknownst to Danae, she stirred a bad superstition by bringing "bad luck bananas" aboard a village boat, thinking her navigators would appreciate her gesture to provide them with an energy boost for the journey ahead.
For those of you who have not had the privilege before of being a passenger in Danae's narratives, Danae is a brilliant, creative and interactive storytelling force to be reckoned with.
Even the toughest and most hardened of librarians were no match for the overwhelming humour of the increasingly bizarre travel triumphs we were led through.
As each crazy tale unfolded, we were asked to rate our impression of it on our incoming passenger card.
Our options were:
Wow!
Wacky!
Wonderful!
Worrying!
Whateva!
Whether opinions were polarising among us passengers was never revealed.
But one through-line that could not be contained and was unanimously shared was the sheer hilarity and great time we were having being lost in Danae's adventures.
Danae is a testament to the timeless mantra;
it's not the destination...but how you get there that counts.
And what a fantastic trip we had!
If you are interested in travelling with Danae Airlines,
visit her blog:
Rest assured, however you choose to get there and wherever you land, when travelling with Danae, the vessel of transport and the destination will never be dull!
But the best part about travelling with Danae via her blog, is Danae's incredible ability to spin a memorable yarn to further enhance the unforgettable travel trivialities that await you!
Check out her official website and discover the works of Danae too:
Danae, as always, you never fail to deliver...and deliver us (relatively unscathed), you most certainly did!
On behalf of Mentone Public Library, thank-you yet again for another memorable, creative, innovative and awe-inspring presentation.
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